so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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