1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
