Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
