I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize