I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
