question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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