garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
