There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
