it wasn't lemon gatorade
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
