I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
