I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
