I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
