i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
