you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
