Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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