Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
