Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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