it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Enjoy the penises
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
