Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
