I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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