make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
