There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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