I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
