one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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