I feel like abortions should bother me more
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
