I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
