I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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