Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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