guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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