just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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