omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
