Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
