You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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