let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
