i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
