i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
