2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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