Your face is a jimmy john
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
