Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
