Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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