Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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