I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
