If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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