The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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