im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Randomize
