I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
