It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
