I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
