you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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