Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
