Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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