He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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