He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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