porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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