you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i dont even know how to be here
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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