Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
