My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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