hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
