I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
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