Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
