I think I died a long time ago.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize