In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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