is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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