My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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