Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
