I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
