Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
