He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
